I don't mean to be snarky and rude, but... 

Wait, that's a terrible way to start because I started with a lie. In fact, I do mean to be a little snarky and rude. This is a Blog; snarky and rude are requirements. Here's my point:

I don't care that my dog just farted.BrunoSmall

It's like you're telling me that "sometimes the moon is visible during the day," or "pleated-front khakis are an abomination." These are all things that everyone already knows. What's the point in announcing that you've smelled a dog fart? Did you expect that if you didn't say anything everyone would assume it was you? Did you think that this is practical knowledge that I might need in order to better care for my dog? Are you worried that you'll drop into analphylactic (get it?) shock, and the only way to save your life will be for me to say to the paramedic:

"By the way, this person JUST SMELLED A DOG FART."

At which point the rescuer will congratulate me – "Thank goodness you mentioned that. You probably just saved this person's life."

And I'll have to admit – "Well, they have themselves to thank. I'm so glad they announced that to the room!"

Do you have a child? If so, then at some point you had a child running around with actual poop strapped to them in a skin-tight poop harness. Should I have mentioned it when that smelled? Yes, probably, because it would be a direct call to action for you. Poop smell + child = actionable information. Dog + fart = OMG, maybe if you wait all of 20 seconds, it will dissipate and life will return to normal.

It's almost like you're accusing me of being a bad dog caregiver, or accusing the dog of being a bad dog. Truth be told, no lie, the dogs almost never fart. They mostly do it when we have guests over; probably from the extra excitement or stress of having guests over. It's really your fault. So, sincerely, thank you. Don't mention it. Really.


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