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Raise your hand if you have one of the following in your bedroom or adjacent bathroom:

This is not some anti-technology diatribe. I like my gadgets as much (or more than) the next guy. But I have all of the above AND I have a wireless acces-point / router. Instead of a cable box I have a DVR, but same diff. Anyway, my point is this: ENOUGH WITH THE F-ING LEDs ON EVERYTHING.

sony_clock_radioMy television has a light (green) to let you know that it's on. That's really handy. I wouldn't be able to tell from the picture on the screen with all the garbage moving around, or the sound coming from the speakers, or even from the light-gray that passes for a black background when there is no picture. As if that's not bad enough, my television also has a RED light to tell you that THE TV IS NOT ON. Seriously? Was there a fire sale on red LEDs that day? Do they think that I won't know where to point the remote if they don't put a red light there? What exactly is the point of a red light that's only on when the TV is off? Perhaps they're trying to streamline one in a million customer service calls: "Do you see a red light?"

Customer: "No."

Service rep: "Ahhh, is it plugged in?"

Customer: "No."

Service rep: "I think I see the problem. Let me have you try something..."

At least my alarm clock has a convenient dimmer switch on the side. When set on "high," you could comfortably read my alarm clock from space. When dimmed to "low," neighbors can read books by the light it emits.

I have a power strip under the desk in my room so I can plug in the light, my laptop charger, and the clock. The power strip (of course) has a giant,jvc-dual-ipod-dock-nx-pn7glowing red light to let me know that it's turned on. This has come in handy almost once in the ten years since I first plugged it in.

The dock for my iPod defaults to a "demo" setting, which means that two giant light-bars on either side flash all the colors they know about if you haven't hit a button in the past forty-five miliseconds. 

My laptop has a white light on the side which slowly fades up and down to let you know that it's asleep. So cute! It's nice that something in my bedroom can sleep.

I finally had a brainstorm about a year ago. I searched around the intersweb and turned up a site called polarization.com. If you poke around there you can find sheets of adhesive polarization lenses. The neat thing about this stuff is that if you put two sheets together (rotated at 90°) it will block out most light. You just cut little rectangles (rotated at 90, of course) and stick them together for a good light filter. It won't completely eliminate all the light, so you can still tell that your TV is not on (which is REALLY important).

The tragic thing? The bedroom isn't even the worst in the house. Have you ever walked through your kitchen or living room with all the lights out? LIAR! You can't. You always have a million little lights looking at you. Even if a storm knocked out all the power lines, something finds a way to light up. Why can't all the electronics manufacturers stop assaulting us with all these unnecessary lights? If we could just solve this problem then maybe would could move on to why they feel the need to put a f-ing clock on everything. I have about two places where I look for the accurate time, and guess what, my electric toothbrush is not one. A few months ago my sister asked me how to spring forward her electric toothbrush for daylight's savings. I told her I had no idea.